Woke Up Sad
This week’s featured playlist comes from Columbus, Ohio fuzz punk/emo multi-instrumentalist, and frequent contributor to this site, Superdestroyer. His playlist “Woke up Sad” is the newest addition to our Depression Party Series, and was inspired by emotions reminiscent of the autumn of 2011, brought on by a recent break-up with his longtime significant other. After waking up alone in bed with the lyrics to
removed stuck in his head, and noting a particularly empty feeling, he decided to cultivate a playlist that would encapsulate some of those emotions. . This particular playlist comes out of our Depression Party Series, which you can find here: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5
Below are the thoughts Superdestroyer shared with us about his playlist “Woke Up Sad”:
I woke up with the lyrics, “…
removed…” playing on a loop in my head. I just had this empty, uncomfortable feeling when I woke up. The morning sky that crept through my shades was a deep grey, which made it feel like the world was reflecting my mind-state. I was really bummed out about my general life situation and felt distanced from myself, kind of like I wasn’t even there.
It reminded me of the fall of 2011, which I would argue was the lowest point of my life. However, the silver lining was that I was motivated to find some of the best and most influential music that I have ever heard. I picked these songs because they are well put together and emotional pieces of music that do a fantastic job of capturing those feelings of emptiness and isolation, but also, maybe paradoxically, hopefulness. The lack of lyrics in most of them makes them reflective pieces; there is something inherently introspective in hearing these songs because you have to feel them. The lyrics are basically whatever thoughts are running through your own head, and so that vibe they create really resonates.
My favorite thing about the songs on this playlist is their movement; that sound of air being pushed around within the instrumentals. It reminds me of old films and their atmosphere that ensconces you when you watch them late at night; the way the white noise washes over you and provides a sense of comforting isolation. These songs do the same. They create a mental space where you’re removed from the here and now, instead you just get lost in your thoughts, reflecting and refracting those feelings you have residing in the cracks of your brain.
A lot of my selections have been important to me for a really long time, and were big inspirations for me when I began making music. They changed the way I thought about music and the ways I understood how people interacted and identified with songs.
Like, when I first heard ‘You’re my excuse to travel” I was in a friend’s apartment and it was like, 2am, and he and I were just hanging out, and it came on in the background and I asked him what it was and had him turn it up. I had never heard anything like it before and when I went home I literally listened to Cerulean on a loop for days. Hearing that song opened me up to whole new genres of music.
Another important song on this playlist is “Ready for the world” because it’s probably the saddest song I’ve ever heard. The vocals are so haunting with it’s near-impossible to decipher lyrics, layers, and reverb; especially when they mix with that pulsating bassline and ambient synths. I was in a dark place the first time I had heard it and I just remember thinking, “no one could have made this song without feeling the same way I do” and that made me feel less alone in the world in that moment.
Then there’s “Bankrupt on Selling.” There’s just something about that song, and particularly about the live version, that just feels so authentic. Those introductory lyrics are so poignant and sad. Everything is expendable to everyone. Isaac Brock is speaking on societal hypocrisy, and arguing that consumerism has replaced our values within this larger conversation of self-evaluation, feeling inadequate, and falling out of love. For me, this song really made me realize that my feeling of isolation is warranted, and also ok. Like, maybe I don’t want to feel connected with these people that love and value nothing.
I’d also briefly like to comment on “Before I Move Off” by Mount Kimbie and “Alone by XXYYXX. “Before I move off” is literally a perfect song. The way it’s structured, the way it builds, the dissonance between the pars; it’s just amazing. It was shown to me by someone really important to me back in the day and 5 years later I still consistently play it. Then there’s Alone by XXYYXX. I included this song because that album with the crying triangle eye is just iconic. It is a touchstone of the genre. People just don’t make albums like that one very often. I’d argue that within that genre it hasn’t really been done since. Marcel was 16 when he made it and I’m not sure he even realized that he had created this interesting new genre amalgamating witch house, ambient, chillstep, and trap. It’s really emotive and effective, especially given it’s minimalist aspects. The entire experience of listening to that album is something that I think sticks with you for a long time after you’ve finished, or at least it did for me.
Finally, I ended the playlist with
removed because I’ve carried it around with me for over a decade. It’s always been there when I needed it, and removed as a band was one of the first bands that I got into that was considered “Punk/emo” or “alternative” at that time. Without them, I probably wouldn’t even like music. When I first heard removed, I just felt it, and so it seemed appropriate to end with a song that has helped me make sense of my feelings for a majority of my life. I hope you like the playlist!
Ready for the World – How to Dress Well off of the album Love Remains
Alone – XXYYXX off of the album Self-Titled
Bankrupt on Selling (Live “Bootleg” Version) – Modest Mouse off of the album Baron Von Bullshit Rides Again
You’re My Excuse to Travel – Baths off of the album Cerulean
Before I Move Off – Mount Kimbie off of the album Crooks & Lovers
Edit: Due to information that recently became public about one of the artists referenced in Superdestroyer’s playlist and write up, we at doittumorrow have removed all information, information or reference to the particular artist. We hope you understand and enjoy the rest of the playlist anyway. Thanks!